

Though it’s shocking to read, her choice to use “cock” and “pussy” instead of their more medical corollaries makes sense from the perspective of a writer who claims to be aroused when she has sex with her father, when she’s thinking about having sex with her father, and when she’s writing about having sex with her father. But it’s this language that sets her story apart from most chronicles of child abuse. The author’s use of pornographic language in the rape scenes-including in the child rape scenes-is only slightly less shocking than the fact that no one in her life helped her out of her situation. And I want to savagely mutilate his body and feed his corpse to dogs.” The author’s desire for her father is only matched by her urge to kill him, a psychological drama she deftly summarizes: “My father still excites me and he still scares me… I need to be obedient to him and to make him laugh and smile and feel pleasure.


Sometimes I wanted it, and sometimes I seduced him and made him fuck me.” But the secret under the secret is that sometimes I liked it. “My father controlled my mind, my body, my desire,” she explains. But the dark twist on her own narrative is that when she was old enough to run, she didn’t exactly want to. The abuse continued into her teenage years and ceased, at least bodily, in her early 20s.Īs the author writes in the second paragraph of the book, the characters in father-daughter incest myths were horrified by their father’s sexual advances. It has never been faced so directly in an audiobook.T he Incest Diary, which was published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux on July 18, is an anonymously written memoir about a woman who was violently and repeatedly raped by her father as a child. With lyric concision, in vignettes of almost unbearable intensity, this author tells a story that is shocking but that will ring true to many other survivors of abuse. And then, years later, she made herself write it down. As a matter of psychic survival, she became both a sexual object and a detached observer, a dutiful daughter and the protector of a dirty secret. In this graphic and harrowing memoir, the author revisits her early traumas and their aftermath - not from a clinical distance but from deep within - to explore the ways in which her father's abuse shaped her and still does. Even after she broke away - even as she grew into an independent and adventurous young woman - she continued to seek out new versions of the violence, submission, and secrecy she had struggled to leave behind.

It formed her world, and it formed her deepest fears and desires. Her sexual relationship with her father lasted, off and on, into her 20s. Beneath a veneer of normal family life, she grew up in and around this all-encompassing secret. Throughout her childhood and adolescence, the anonymous author of The Incest Diary was raped by her father. And later, when I could, it was too late." They do everything in their power to escape. "In the fairy tales about father-daughter incest - 'The Girl Without Hands', 'Thousand Furs', the original 'Cinderella', 'Donkey Skin', and the stories of Saint Dymphna, patron saint of incest survivors - the daughters are all as you would expect them to be: horrified by their father's sexual advances. Listen to this audiobook free with a 30-day trial.
